Ophelia

Published in LIThium, Anderson Junior College (AJC), 2014

25^th July 20XX

Rainy

     They gave me this last week. To keep a record of my thoughts. It’s supposed to help. Keep me from forgetting. So here goes.

     My name is Ophelia Adler. I turn seventeen in December.

     I have not seen Mama in six months.

     They brought me here by train. I remember Mama drove me to the train station and helped me carry my luggage. She kissed me on the cheek and told me to be good, like she always used to when I was in kindergarten. Then she cried. I told her not to, I could always come back to see her, but that only made her cry harder. After that, I got on the train and the man closed the door behind me. The train was empty; I had an entire carriage to myself. A nice old lady brought packed lunches and dinners on a cart.

     I remember falling asleep stretched out on the seats; when I woke up, we had arrived. We were here.

      ‘Here’ is a castle. On a hill, overlooking a village. White-washed walls, red brick turrets. All that jazz. It even has a courtyard with a quaint little fountain in it, like any self-respecting castle would. But the fountain only turns on when the sun is out, which is never. It is always raining here. Even when the rain stops, the cloud cover is too thick for the sun to penetrate.

     I am wary of the rain. I dare not touch it. Aiden went into the rain two months ago. It extinguished him. He never came back.

     Sometimes I wonder why Mama cried.

     Maybe she knew.

*

2^nd August 20XX

Rainy

     Something happened last night. Juliet was taken.

     At night, the White Coats wander the hallways. The others tell me that they prey on people outside after curfew. I must not be caught outside after curfew. The White Coats will take me away, like they did with Juliet from the room down the corridor. She fought them. She tried to. She came back different.

     I don’t want to be different.

     The person in charge here is called the Director. Of what, I do not know. The plate on his door says ‘Dr. E. Tolbert’. Sometimes he leaves his office, mainly when someone new arrives. Then he goes to greet them. I’ve seen him once or twice. He has this scary hooked nose and these hooded sleepy eyes – Green? Blue? They were green when I first saw him but then they were blue and I think once they were brown so I don’t quite know – that pierce into your soul. He unnerves me.

     They make us take pills here. Little white things. They dull my senses. They make me forget. I feel like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered.

     Tolbert’s in cahoots with the White Coats. I saw him talk to them once. He probably asked them to take Juliet away. I liked Juliet. She was the only one I could talk to besides Aiden. Then Aiden left. And now I am alone.

     I miss Mama.

*

14^th August 20XX

Cloudy

     Tolbert called Jessica into his office today. She did not come back. No one will say where she’s gone.

     My name is Ophelia Adler. I am scared. I have not been this scared since the night Papa died.

*

5^th September 20xx

Sunny

     He is a monster. I know he is. Today I watched from the window as he left the castle grounds – and the sun shone for the first time in months. This is not the first time this has happened. He is never around when the sun is out.

     I remember the night that I arrived. It was storming. All clouds and thunder and lightning flashing across the sky. And Tolbert opened the doors to his chambers and smiled at me. It was not a nice smile.

     His eyes were black today.

     I have to end this. I have to save everybody. No one else must know. If something goes wrong I cannot endanger any more lives I cannot cannot cannot let any more people go the way of Aiden and Juliet and Jessica. This is a task for me and me alone.

     His office. I must find a way to get into his office. His object of power must be there. If I destroy it it’s one step closer to killing him, to stopping this, to purging his control over this castle, the White Coats. One step closer to ending all this.

     Then I can see Mama again.

     I have stopped taking the pills. I hide them. They make me slow. I cannot afford to be slow. If I forget, then all is lost.

*

Adler, Ophelia. 16y/o.

     At 12am on 22^nd October of this year, the patient was found attempting to break into Dr. Tolbert’s office using a hairpin. Orderlies Mason and Sparrow were forced to resort to physical action when Adler did not respond to their requests for her to return to her room. The patient fought back and drew blood. As of now, she has been moved to solitary confinement in the maximum-security ward and is under constant surveillance.

     Adler was admitted in January following the death of her father in a traffic accident. From her diary entries, the patient appears to suffer from grandiose delusions, the severity of which seems to have escalated following the recovery and discharge of Aiden Thorn, a patient she was close to. These delusions include the persistent belief that orderlies on patrol are evil monsters called ‘White Coats’, as well as her belief that the Director of Psychiatric Care is “a demon”; at one point, she cites his frequently changing eye colour (due to his contact lenses) as proof that corroborates her suspicion. This illogical jump in reasoning only shows that her condition is worsening at an alarming rate.

     Blood tests indicate that Adler has not been taking her prescribed medicine. This was supported by entries in her diary, where the patient describes hiding the pills as they “made her feel slow”. A stricter medicine regime is in order if the patient continues to exhibit such behaviour.

     Electroconvulsive therapy is indicated.